As I sit down to write today, fires are ravaging much of
Southern California, high winds are hurling patio furniture, plants, and trash
cans down the street, and a 4.2 earthquake and its aftershocks hit yesterday
with its epicenter 20 miles from our home. San Diegans are on critical fire
watch alert and it is difficult to not be unsettled and anxious. And yet, I
remind myself daily (and often hourly) that God is in control, that this is not
the perfect earth He originally created, and that all will be restored. Today’s
blog is a little bit of update, a little bit of hope, and little bit of a guest
author—my 17 year old son, Micah. May today’s blog post give you hope, assurance,
and a bit of a challenge.
First, the health update. I am still dealing with insurance—contesting
some bills and trying to wrap finances up before year end. My insurance twice
denied the medication I was prescribed, saying that the dosage “did not meet
their guidelines.” They then told me that my doctor could not change anything
via email or fax and that he had to fill out a form and mail it via postal
mail. Last week, after FIVE weeks of waiting, I finally got my prescription
filled, but it was only due to a wonderful nurse at my doctor’s office who
stepped up for me. The nurse, Ryan, pulled me aside while I was talking to the
office manager about all this craziness and told me that he was going to
contact insurance as well as the pharmacy. By the time my appointment was
finished, Ryan had pulled a chair up by his computer for me, and sent me off
with the name of the pharmacist at Costco, the correct prescription, and a big
hug. I began taking my medication that night and felt improvements immediately.
Today, one week later, I am almost back to normal with my strength and energy.
If we could just put humanity back into our systems! Ryan will be receiving a
card and a gift from me this week and I hope he will know how blessed and
appreciative I am because he fought on my behalf. I am so grateful!
Second—a little bit of hope. About six weeks ago, I was up
on my cabana drinking my coffee and having my morning quiet time with my
journal and my Bible. I was in the midst of my painful recovery and feeling no
progress and no hope. As I was having my pity party, I felt God quietly
speaking to me. I felt Him assure me that despite my pain and suffering, that I
could still make an impact on those around me. I felt Him telling me some words
and I wrote them down. “People. Pray. Proclaim.” I started praying over the
words and I realized what God was telling me through my pain. People come first. Before anything
else. Before chores and work and programs and social media. Pray for the
people in your life. If people come first and people are important, then I need
to be lifting them in prayer—all the people in my life. I can pray for people
when I am walking my dogs, driving, when I am on my knees, when I am lying in
bed in pain.
Proclaim the gospel in all you do. Proclaim Jesus in your
words, deeds, actions, behaviors and values. Proclaim Jesus in your pain, in
your joy, in your trials, in your suffering, in your workplace, in your
neighborhood. These three words have helped me re-define my priorities. These
three words guide my choices, actions, words, and decisions.
Third—a bit about my guest author—Micah Loy. About three
weeks after this time with God, I was talking to my son Micah after his school
day. He said, “Hey mom, I am writing my final paper in APEL (AP English Lit)
about you.” “Really bud,” I said, “What is it about?” He told me, “It is called
a Definition essay. We have to define something in 500 words or less using an
extended metaphor. So I am defining you.” He then proceeded to tell me about his ideas
for the essay and the examples he was going to use. He said, “My metaphor for
you is a first dance at a wedding.” I
was shocked! I have talked to my boys about how much I want to live so I can
dance with them at their weddings. They know that the title of my book is going
to be I Plan to Dance. I know
that Micah is a really observant kid—not much gets past him, but until I read
his essay, I didn’t really know how much he has been taking in regarding my
pain and suffering. So, I am honored to share his essay with you all in my blog
today.
She Will Dance
Micah Loy
A mom is someone who takes care of
you. A mom can be anyone that has shown you how to live your life, has taken
care of you, and has helped you through tough times. But my mom is a first
dance at a wedding. She takes the right steps and is seen as perfect to all
people watching, even though she has her imperfections. She goes through a lot
of twists and turns but in the end she nails it.
In my eyes my mom is perfect. Sure,
she yells at me for not getting up and doing what I am supposed to do, but she
never stops caring. She constantly asks me if she is being a good mom and I
always answer the same way. “Of course mom, why wouldn’t you be.” She always
thinks that she hasn’t been there for me in times of need because she has been
battling cancer for the past four years, but really she doesn’t know how much
she has actually done for me. She taught me to always have faith in anything
and to not stress about the small stuff. My mom wonders why I don’t get scared
when she goes through all these surgeries and I reassure her by saying “Mom, if
you can do it one time, you can do it again. God is with you.”
My mom isn’t afraid to show her
emotion. Countless times I have come home and she is crying because she just
wants to go back to when she wasn’t cut open and she didn’t have the scars to
prove it. She is a woman who called her son crying because she was in pain and
needed him to meet her at the emergency room. A woman that, despite cancer,
still had a grasp on her faith and knew that she was going to dance at her
son’s wedding.
My mom goes through twists and
turns. If you don’t know her, you would only see a woman who keeps a smile on
her face and tries to please everyone. But to the people who know her story,
they see a woman who has defied the odds of life, surviving cancer more than
three times, and has undergone more than ten surgeries. I see a woman who has
put all her faith in God to keep her alive. My mom, throughout the time she was
going through this hard time in her life, still continued to change and impact
people’s lives, including mine. She showed me that you just have to push
through something when God gives you a challenge.
My mom is the biggest influence in
my life. I should always cherish the times when she just wants a hug from me. I
have to live in the moment with my mom, since I don’t know when it could be
gone. Her time with me is a first dance that I never want to end.
I
share this because I want us all to be reminded that people (and our kiddos)
are watching us—they watch and learn from our actions, our words, and our
responses to trials and suffering. After I read Micah’s essay, I realized how
important it is that I am living out “People, Pray and Proclaim.” My kids and husband(people)
are the number one in my life after God. I pray for them daily and I proclaim
Christ to them in all that I do and say. It doesn’t go unnoticed.
Ryan, the nurse who fought on my behalf, put
people first. He made a difference in my life that day and now because I have my medication due to him.
My son Micah, through his observations, has proclaimed
his faith to his classmates.
God the Father and the Creator, chose people to
be His instruments to proclaim the gospel. Flawed, undeserving people, who He
uses to glorify Him and testify about Him on earth. What grace. What honor. What joy.
3 comments:
Spectacular!! 😍
Always inspiring Kirsten! You have done so much for so many, including my family. You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers. ��❤️��
beautiful in every way!
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