Welcome to my very first blog site and very first post. After years of being an English teacher and teaching teens to capture their thoughts in the written word, I have decided to share my own. Up until now my thoughts, burdens, prayers, and dreams have been chronicled in my little private journals that are stored away in my grandmother's antique chest at the foot of my bed. I pull them out often to review my life passages so I can reflect, grow, and find out where I am getting "stuck."
I have thought often of starting a blog, but made excuses--"takes too much time, invasion of privacy, who wants to hear my thoughts anyway, everyone and their brother has a blog these days." But then my life perspective changed drastically on March 1, 2013--the day I was diagnosed with cancer.
I have only had nine days to process this news--nine days of thinking every thought and scenario possible, nine days of going down rabbit holes, and sleepless nights, and hard conversations. Nine days of sharing the news with key people, nine days of incredible encouragement, love, support, and prayers from my family and friends. Nine days of clinging to God's Word, His promises, and His love for me.
The doctor's initial report is promising. Colon cancer. Early detection. Treatable and curable. On Friday I had a cat scan to make sure the cancer has not spread. On Tuesday I meet with a surgeon at the Morse Cancer Center at UCSD. This is my world right now. Each step is the unknown and I pray daily for the strength to endure the WAIT.
As a Youth Director at Canyon Springs Church, one of the many things I want my teens to learn is that being a Christian does not make us immune from sickness, pain, sadness, death, or tragedy. We do not live in a bubble, we live in a fallen world that is broken. Jesus said in John 16: 33: "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." Jesus never once promised us an easy life, but He did promise that He would never leave us nor forsake us. Jesus is my hope. I rest on the promises of His Word and the foundations of my faith that are rooted in the inerrant Word of God.
I am not going to lie. I have many moments of anxious thoughts. I feel fear. I am control freak and I have no control over this situation. I have to give it all to God. Every day. Every minute. It is so much easier said than done.
But I truly believe these words with all my heart and soul...words from the song "Our God"--
"Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other
Our God is healer, awesome in Power, Our God, Our God
And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what could stand against?"
I pump that song up on my I-phone when I run, and I run faster and stronger. And I am singing that daily so that I can run faster and stronger through this trial.
I do not want this news to be a distraction or an anxiety or a burden for any of the people I know and love. Use this news as a way to grow deeper with God, to seek Him out, to know His ways, to learn about His Word, to draw nearer to Him. That is what I am doing with this trial.
"When troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing." James 1: 2-4
This blog will be a way for me to communicate what is going on with my health--it will be a little bit medical, a little bit reflective, and little bit spiritual. It will the easiest way for me to disseminate information to a lot of people in my life in one simple place. I value your prayers, your encouragement, your support, and your love. Thanks for joining me, and to God be all glory....