Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Showered

Today was long and draining.  I met with a team at Moore's Cancer Center at UCSD--doctors with incredible wisdom and care. I will start with the medical info told to me by doctors.  CAT scan came back clear except for some spots on my liver.  I have a number of things lined up for the next few days:  PET scan, MRI of liver, meet with an oncologist who will go over my care and treatment. It is nice to know things, but overwhelming. Until I meet with the oncologist, I will not know the exact treatment plan--but there are two possible plans:

Plan one: If colon cancer with no liver involvement--chemo plus radiation five days a week for 4-5 weeks. Wait 4 weeks, then surgery.

Plan two: If colon cancer with liver involvement--chemo for four months, surgery, then more chemo.

I am now a "cancer patient"-I will be in treatment for a minimum of four-six months.  Not the sweet month long "surgery and done" plan I had hoped.

But let me tell you about the showers of love and support that have rained down upon me in the last few days as I made my diagnosis public--the texts, FB messages, FB comments and posts, phone calls, emails, comments on my blog--absolutely unbelievable.  So many people I love from many seasons of my life who are reaching out.  I said before that I won't be able to respond to every text or call or email, but each one I read and treasure.  I want to share a portion of a message I received from one of my special former students--it is a little long, but it is worth it....(Thanks Mary for letting me share)

Mary Michelle Payumo
Dear Mrs. Loy,
I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. When I read your status this evening, it shocked me to even think that someone that had such a big impact on my life has deal with something like that. However, I know that by the grace of God, you will fight this and you will get through it. You are such a beautiful person and a strong, loving wife, mother, friend, and teacher. If anyone can beat cancer, I know without a doubt it will be you!
I definitely credit you with having such an influence with the success that I have had in my life. You were my history and English teacher when I was in the eighth grade at Challenger Middle School (1998-1999). I remember each day you would write something on the board and have us students respond in our journals, and then we would share our thoughts with the class. I usually never spoke up in class, but for some reason, I felt so comfortable in your class and I rose my hand nearly every day. I learned how to verbalize my thoughts and I developed a real passion for writing. I learned that my words do matter and I can do anything as long as I put my mind to it. Furthermore, whenever I start to lose confidence in my academic abilities, I think back to the days in your class and remember how you made me feel like I could really do something with my life. You encouraged and stimulated my mind, and made me realize that I could excel not only in history and English, but also in math and sciences.
As of now, I am a law school graduate, awaiting my California Bar results. I didn't know then as an eighth grade student I would end up where I am, but I am so thankful that I had you as a teacher. I am so sorry that it took learning about your fight for me to reach out to you and let you know how much you meant to me as a student, but I hope you can take away from my letter how amazing you are, and how much you have inspired so many. I hope you know that even though we have not spoken in so long, that I am here for you if ever you need anything. I could never repay you for the light you brought to my life or the lessons you taught me, but I hope I can help you when you need it.
I found this old picture of us at my eighth grade graduation, and I look at it from time to time to remind me of that great time in my life. I hope you can look at that picture and know that you have helped me and inspired me to become who I am today. Thank you so much for all that you do, and I hope that you continue to know how amazing you are.
Love,
Mary Payumo


Ha--look at my big hair back then--I told Mary that I still have "big hair" (although pretty soon I may not have any--but I will be sporting some sassy wigs, don't you know it.) Anyway, I think Mary could write my blog--she is so beautiful with words.

And she is not the only one who has showered me with this love....from each of you who reaches out, I feel so honored.  Mary's letter reminds that that I AM living out my purpose.  I tell my teens all the time--"You have ONE life--how are you going to live it?  Go make an IMPACT."  And the impact doesn't have to big or glorious--just one word, one touch, one kind deed--one person at a time.

And not only I am showered with love from so many of you, I am showered daily with the amazing grace of Jesus Christ.  I am cleansed by His Spirit.  Please continue to pray with me for miraculous healing....and pray for my sons Noah and Micah and my husband Greg.  He is truly living out his marriage vows of "for better or worse, in sickness and in health" every single day.

My dear friend Bonnie shared this quote from Oswald Chambers that I want to close with--it will be a guiding quote to help me get through each day....

"Trust God.  And do the next thing."

Here we go....blessings to each of you and thank you for sharing my journey.

4 comments:

Alissa Richardson said...

Wow, Kirsten. I'm so thankful for this blog. I know we joke as neighbors about never getting to see you, but through your writing, I feel like you are talking to me. You have a gift for writing and for sharing Christ's love. I've always been amazed by you and looked up to you so much, and never more than I do now. Love you!!!

Taylor Davis said...

Love following this Kirsten. I love you so much and have been praying for you daily. Your faithfulness to Jesus is inspiring and so encouraging. Jesus is the treasure. Love you

Summer said...

Just as my favorite quote says, "He will bring Beauty From Pain," I know and believe the same will be true of your story. Your blog is just the beginning.
Love your heart.

Debbie Pederson-Nuñez said...

Wow. What a beautiful letter from Mary...she articulates so well what I am sure many, many people feel having been touched by your life!! She is yet another testimony to the impact you have on lives around you. Such a bright light you are...bringing glory to God through this trial. Sassy hair and all! :-) Praying... xoxoxo